Friendship

Pro 18:24 in the Message says, "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family." I resolved long ago that I would be that kind of friend to my friends, which is the kind of friend that I would want them to be to me, and I would do this whether it was ever reciprocated or not - a version of the 'Golden Rule,' if you will. Sometimes this has wonderful results, sometimes it leaves me a little hollow. But I don't regret the decision.

Someone once said, "Friendship doesn't mean perfection, I must remember, it means being human with another human. It's okay not to like certain aspects of people and still love them for being your friend." I think its especially easy when you are young to think the friendships you pour yourself into will last forever and that everyone will always care as much for you as you do for them. For friendship to last for many years you have to accept several qualifiers: first, people have lives, responsibilites, interests, and relationships that go beyond and often superceed friendship. If you are too jealous, too controlling, too demanding, or too easily hurt, you will find your friendships last no longer than the situation that created them.

Secondly, distance may make the heart grow fonder, but it does not make the friendship grow stronger. All the pledges made the last day of high school, or the last year of college, that distance, time, or circumstance will never keep you and your friends apart - though sincere at the time - are very seldom kept. Don't blame them, and don't blame yourself; sometimes our life-paths only cross once. Cherish and hold fast to the memories, but don't mourn the loss too long. It might keep you from seeing the new friendships meant to be made that are just around the corner.

Finally, allow people to be themselves as much as you want them to accept you as you are. Some friends aren't going to be as companionable as others. They might not want to spend every free moment with you, not because of you, but because of who they are. Some friends might seem to smother you, not because of what you need, but because of what they need. To "be human with another human" requires many compromises, much patience, self-sacrifices, but it brings GREAT JOY.