Broken Hearted

So it finally happened. I got a new job. I am the Granville County Schools transition teacher for Central Children's Home. It's part time - 8:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., but that still means you are now going to daycare. You are in the 'Older Threes' class at Greater Beginnings Childcare Center. Your teacher is named Ms. Tiwanda and she is a really great lady - she definitely has a heart for your age group. You seem to have a good group of kids in your class; your teacher says this group is really a lot mellower than the group she had last year.

You and I have been working our way into this for a little while. The whole month of September we went to your class a few hours at a time together so you could get used to the kids and your teacher and the schedule they keep (I told the school system I couldn't start working until the end of the month for this very reason). You seemed to gradually get accustomed to things, but that very first day that I had to leave you was a heartbreaker.

You seemed to sense that something was up and acted more clingy than usual, so there was no sneaking away from you. When I tried to leave, you started screaming and crying and wrapped your arms and legs around my leg begging me not to go. I was devestated...how was I supposed to let you go? Feeling like the worst mother who had ever lived, I pried you off of my leg and handed you to Tiwana. As I turned away and started walking down the hall, one of the workers looked at me and my expression of anguish and said sympathetically, "She's gonna be okay, Mama." That was the last thing I needed to hear. The dam broke and I sobbed...I sat down in Michelle's office and sobbed and sobbed. They tried their best to comfort me, and told me that within minutes you were fine and playing with blocks, but it didn't help me. I cried all the way to the school, only pulling it together at the last minute so my supervisor didn't think I was crazy.

Since then you've done really well. You seem to enjoy being around other kids, especially now that your friend Madision is in your class. You still have a few moments that you seem reluctant to go, and I still harbor some latent feelings of guilt, but I think it's been a good experience so far. A lot of the church people have observed you have started really coming out of your shell and I think a lot of that can be attributed to being at Great Beginnings.

Let's just pray God can heal your mommy's broken heart.