Your Nursery

We've been working hard on your nursery these past couple of weeks. I've been painting a mural on three of the four walls. The theme is 'carousel in the clouds' and there are carousel animals (a horse, a zebra, a swan, and a giraffe) on two walls surrounded by fluffy clouds. On the small section of wall next to your crib I have painted a large moon with a little girl angel sitting in the crook of the moon surrounded by clouds and stars. I'm really pleased with how things have turned out.

This past weekend your Grammy, your daddy, and I went to pick out the furnishings for the nursery. It was a big adventure to say the least. In the end we picked out some very pretty furniture that is a little lighter than a cherry color. The crib is convertible so you can use it as a toddler bed and as a full-size bed. The style to me is very elegant and feminine, so I hope you'll love it for a long time to come. We couldn't get the matching changing table yet - there was just no room for it in Grammy's Blazer! Grammy said she would get it before she comes back to visit at the end of August, so no worries there. The curtains were put up too....they are so very pretty! They are sky blue shears with white clouds all over them. Grammy tied up the valance with sparkling white ribbons, making them even more beautiful. I absolutely love them. When our friend Ruth gets a chance, she's going to paint clouds on your sky blue ceiling and then the room will be complete!

I can't wait for your arrival. I hope you love this nursery and can find joy and comfort and peace from the surroundings; your own private carousel in the clouds!

Making Your Presence Known

So many people had been asking me the question, "Have you felt the baby yet?" For the longest time, my answer was, "No, not yet." After enough people give me a shocked look when I said "no," I automatically started to worry, despite the fact that all the books I was reading told me many mothers didn't feel their babies move for several more weeks.

Finally one night when your daddy and I were lying in bed I felt a definite kick. It wasn't anything like the 'butterfly flutters' other mothers had told me your movements would feel like. There was no question in my mind at all that you were making your presence known in a major way. It was only a few days later that your daddy was actually able to feel you kicking too! You have made up for all those weeks of quietness by becoming a very acrobatic baby. Your kicks are always strong and frequent, especially in the evening when I'm relaxing in my recliner. Sometimes it feels like you do complete somersaults, which is a really odd sensation. It is very comforting to me when I feel you move, because its a reassurance that you are okay and growing and healthy. It also seems to make the entire experience that much more real. My growing stomach leaves no room for doubt in that department, but feeling your little movements makes it feel like you have a real identity and a unique personality that you are already trying to express.

So keep kicking my little soccer player!

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Wow! You have an identity now...Petra Sky Bryan. Today we had that important ultrasound to find out if you are a boy or girl....and you're a girl (at least there's an 80% chance you are!). Your daddy, my mom (Grammy) and your daddy's mom (Grandma) and dad (Grandpa) were all there when the ultrasound was done. You were all curled up in a little ball sleeping when we started, but a little poking and prodding soon had you moving around, scratching the side of your head and, of course, crossing your legs! Eventually the technician, Pam, said she was 80% sure you are a girl. She said everything looked very healthy and from her measurments you are about 13 oz. in size.

I'm so excited to be able to put a name to this little bundle inside me now...and we can also start picking out clothes and toys and things for you. That will be lots of fun. Your daddy is thrilled that he's going to have a 'daddy's girl' and I'm so happy too. Even though I had thought a lot about having a boy, I see what a great relationship I have with my own mother now that I'm older and I look forward to having that with you too.

I love you, Petra Sky...

Girl or Boy?

This Friday, if all goes well (and you cooperate!) your Daddy and I will be going for an ultrasound that will hopefully tell us whether you are a girl or a boy. Both of us are so excited just to be able to finally call you by name (Luke or Petra) instead of constantly referring to you as 'the baby' or 'her or him'. Also it will mean we'll be able to start looking for clothes and other gender specific things to add to our baby registry so when loved ones shop for our upcoming baby showers they can get you lots of nice things!

We will be happy if you are just healthy, no matter what you are, but deep down I really hope you are a boy. I've always had a better connection it seems with the men in my life, and I guess the thoughts of you being a boy intimidate me a little less. I wonder if I could handle another hormonal, emotional female in the house. Your Daddy really hopes you are a girl though. He always had a lot of good friends who were girls, and he spent a lot of time growing up around his female relatives. I guess he's wishing out of his feelings of comfort then too. No matter what, I am so excited to see what kind of amazing and unique personality God will bless you with and how much you really are a combination of me and your daddy. I hope you have his peace-making abilities, his people skills, and his positive attitude. I hope you have my love for reading and learning, my creativity, and my tenacity. Most of all I hope you inherit from both of us a love for Christ that will far outstretch anything else you do.

I love you...

Understanding the Unexplainable

Your daddy and I have experienced some difficult situations at the church these past few weeks, both of them dealing with the deaths of family members of our church people. The first one was the hardest because we had to comfort a young couple who had just lost their first baby. The baby was born premature and despite the best efforts of the doctors, she didn't make it. It was so heartrending to sit with that young mother as she held her lifeless child in her arms. You would have been proud of your daddy -- he did such an amazing job of comforting the mom and dad and saying all the right things to let them know that grief was okay, denial was okay, and even getting angry at God was okay. He even held the little baby for awhile because the mother asked him to. I guess she wanted someone to treat her little child as a baby and not an object.

As I sat there quietly, I thought of you and prayed desperately for your health and safety. I know that woman made some bad choices during her pregnancy that may have contributed to the death of her child, and I hope I'm doing all the right things for you -- watching what I eat and drink, being careful as to the activities I do, trying (semi-successfully) to get more sleep... Emotionally, afterward when we were leaving the hospital, I was really torn up. Your daddy comforted me and took me to dinner where we tried as best we could to erase the painful image from our mind.

Pain and grief are inevitable parts of life. Sometimes we can understand and pinpoint the cause, whether it be our own bad choices or the choices of others. Sometimes pain is not so easily explained -- bad things do happen to good people, to people who love and serve the Lord with all their hearts, to people who don't deserve it. We cannot reason those things away with religious cliches or hollow explanations. Suffice it to say that God is omnipotent and we are not. He does not bring suffering upon us, but He sometimes does allow it to touch us. The reasons for unexplainable suffering will remain beyond our grasp until that day when we see Him face to face and all things become clear. Until we can see our role, and the role of our pain, in the greater scheme of things, we have to work through our grief to the place where we can trust again.

I love you, little one.

Baby's First Pictures

We got to see you for the first time today!

Our exciting day began at 8:00 in the morning when your daddy and I arrived at Dr. Jones' office. My mom came too; she couldn't stand being left out of the big event. We waited for a good while before we were taken to the ultrasound room. The technician's name was Pam and we found out she was actually our neighbor. She was very nice.

They tried to do an ultrasound using the wand on my belly first, but you weren't developed enough for that method to work, so they decided to do a vaginal ultrasound. I was a little nervous, but it ended up not being too uncomfortable. It was only a matter of seconds later and there you were on the screen in front of me! You were only the size of a butterbean and it was pretty much impossible to make out any features, but it was still you, and I was so happy to see the life that was being created inside me firsthand.

The most amazing part was when she turned up the sound and we were all able to hear your heartbeat. My mom was estatic -- I thought she was going to dance around the room she was so giddy. Your daddy was smiling from ear to ear, and he kept saying "Wow! Can you believe it?" It was so cool. The reality of you really hit home. I can't wait for the next ultrasound when we will find out if you are a boy or a girl, and will get to see more of your features.

I love you already....I can't wait to see you in person.

The Temptations of Fisher Price

What a good baby you are already! *grin* Well, at least you haven't made me sick at all, and for that I am very thankful. My mom has decided she wants you to call her 'Grammy'...I guess since she bought you your first baby blanket she figures she has first-dibs on grandmother names.

Your daddy and I have been looking at strollers and cribs and all sorts of baby toys and equipment all week. It is fascinating how many things exist now for babies that didn't exist when we were little. Like exersaucers for example; we used to have walkers which looked a lot like exersaucers except they had wheels on them and the baby could scoot around the house while they developed their leg strength and coordination. I don't really know why they phased walkers out; someone said they heard they were dangerous. Of course, lots of things become dangerous with passing generations that previous generations didn't give a second thought. Another interesting invention we looked at was called a Bopppy. This is apparently a pillow that can be used to support the baby when the mother is feeding or to help the baby learn how to sit up. I guess our parents were terribly deprived since they had to rely on pure arm strength and propped us up against pillows when we were learning to sit up.

I guess on reflection, there are many things that I will want you to have because I want you to have the best of everything. But at the same time, if you don't have every new contraption or invention designed to speed your development, that won't mean you won't grow up to be just as happy, healthy, and intelligent as anyone else. Its good to have perspective - especially when you walk down isle after isle of muticolored Fisher-Price gadgets at Toys R' Us. :-)

Welcome to the family...

Finally! Finally you are here....heaven-sent little life that will be with me every second of every day for the next eight months. I am so amazed at the happiness you can inspire even though you are still unseen.

Your daddy and I went to the doctor yesterday (February 10, 2005) to confirm what we already were pretty about. A little lab work later and the doctor was congratulating us. He said you were already 4 weeks old. It leaves me speechless! In just 4 more weeks we will be able to hear your heartbeat, and that really excites me.

Your Grandma McKay is taking to the news very well. She even emailed me this morning to tell me she had already bought something for you! I think you are going to be very spoiled. Your Grandma Bryan is beside herself she is so happy and your daddy's Aunt Katherine is hoping that you are twins! I'll admit, I laughed a little nervously at that thought....but whatever happens, I am happy. You've brought me so much contentment, little one. I feel satisfied, more so than perhaps ever before.

You've had other effects on me as well. Mexican food, which used to be my favorite, is really unappealing to me at the moment. Practically anything spicy isn't on my list of favorite things anymore. And I do feel sleepy a lot, but that's okay -- its a good reason to nap! Your daddy now has the unpleasant task of cleaning out Xena-cat's litter box for the next 8 months, and I'll admit I feel no small amount of amusement over that.

Let me tell you funny story that happened the other night concerning that cat. We were all sitting in that tiny little living room we have in the house on Clearwater Drive, and we were talking about you and how excited we were. Your daddy looked at our little Pembroke Welsh Corgi, Abigail, and said, "Abigail, you're going to be a sister!" Xena-cat looked at him as if she were offended, and then jumped in my lap, put her paws on my tummy and bowed her head, in the absolute picture of a prayer! She stayed that way for nearly a minute...it really looked like she was praying over you. Well, if animals can talk to God (why not?) I think my dear little kitty was sending good emotions toward you. Funny, huh?

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words

Good News
Originally uploaded by Girlcloud.

Happiness...joy...expectation...excitement...amazement...

I will always support you. Even when your decisions are ones I don't understand or when they take you far away from me. If you tell me the decision you're making is something you've prayed hard about and sought God's will about, if you feel certain that He has given you clarity about the decision, then I will be behind you 100%. Sometimes it may be very hard -- I may think I know what's best for you, and I may think you haven't thought things through the way I have. But some lessons can only be learned by experiencing them, and I may not always be right about what God's future holds for you. If I try to hide my crying-eyes, and my "stiff upper lip" seems to tremble, you must forgive me...I love you and I want you near me and safe. But I'll let you fly free.

Just never forget how to fly home when your wings are tired.

Control Freak

It's been a long time since I've written. I'll admit it...I'm discouraged. We've been trying to get pregnant for more than five months now. I know, I know - that's a drop in the bucket when you consider people who have tried for years to get pregnant without success. I guess I had always assumed it would be easy. My mom had no trouble at all; every time she stopped taking birth control she immediately got pregnant. But I have to be reassured that God has all of our best interests at heart and His timing will ultimately be perfect.

I've been thinking a lot about our relationship in the future, mostly because of recent issues I have seen some of my friends facing in their own relationships with their mothers. Controlling, manipulative, or hypocritical women seem to make up a large and unsettling percentage of this generation of mothers. One of my friends went away as a missionary for two years before coming home to finish college. Her parents offered to help her pay for her college and let her live at home to help her out financially. Her mother has since become very controlling - wanting her to spend all her time with her family and very little to no time with friends or her boyfriend. Her mother gives her guilt over the money they are spending, and is evasive any time she tries to have a sit-down discussion about the tension that is growing between them.

Another friend's mother is being very hypocritical about her faith. As my friend struggles with her own spirituality, she is grieved by the way her mom isn't the spiritual role model she needs at this time in her life. Her mother is even jealous of spiritual mentors she's adopted in an attempt to fill in this void. I don't know if its just mothers and daughters particularly that face these battles, or what.

I wonder what I can do to not be so controlling. Being a control freak comes pretty naturally to me. My mom is a domineering type person and I inherited that first-born tendency from her. I know I will want to push you in certain directions, wanting "what's best for you," but I have to remember to honor your individuality and let you make decisions for yourself and deal with their consequences. I also can't live my life vicariously through you. Though I would love for you to be talented in music and become a member of the school band or orchestra, that is my dream...yours may be very different. I hope you and I develop a friendship as you grow older that you will feel like I can be your mentor and your companion in life. Though it will be hard, I hope I can let you have your space (like my mom has so lovingly let me had mine) so coming home will be a welcome visit, not an obligation. Most of all, I pray fervently that I will be a strong Christian role model to you - that you can follow me as I follow Christ. I hope there will be many people in life that will guide you and mentor you in your faith. I will be willing to share.

Paying attention to the signs in your life...

Not pregnant. Yet another reason to not like “that time of the month.” But God’s will be done, not mine. He sees all things, past, present, and future and He knows what is best for me and you.

The signs in my life are getting pretty loud that this is the time. Your daddy’s cousin Lisa came to visit us this weekend and brought her two kids. Little Katy is only a few months old. She is such a content little baby – never crying unless she’s hungry or really, really tired. I hope you will be that way. I think it would break my heart if you were upset a lot and I was never really sure why. Maybe that’s just the nervous mommy in me speaking. I want everything to be perfect for you. Sometimes your daddy acts really scared about the whole concept and other times he’s just so at ease. This weekend he played with little Katy as if he was a natural at the whole thing. Of course, one of the signs that this is ally going to be fine is how well he gets along with children and children with him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a toddler or baby who wasn’t drawn to him, or that he couldn’t make smile or laugh. I understand that – he has that effect on me too.

I really enjoyed being with Samuel and Katy (Lisa’s kids). Sam is really rambunctious, but his imagination and his way of expressing himself are so amazing. Katy was so content no matter who was holding her, so I held her for awhile. What a feeling to cradle a God-given miracle in my arms…to feel her breathing, to see her little movements and facial expressions. I want to experience that for myself in you, my child-unborn.

Another sign I’m paying attention to is how much our parents are ready to be grandparents. I guess its most obvious with your daddy’s mom and dad. They both are so drawn to babies. If there’s one to be held, then she is usually holding it. My mom is little less obvious, but the way she makes so much over my cousin’s children, I know she will be an awesome grandma too. And my dad, well, I’ve never had any doubt he would make the perfect granddaddy. That leads me to another sign: as much as I’d like to ignore it, my parents and my parents-in-law are getting older. I want you to know the joy of having two sets of grandparents to love you, and teach you things, and spoil you! I only had my grandma and granddaddy, and now I just have grandma. I want her to know you too…and I want you to get to meet your daddy’s grandparents too.

So all the signs point to the same conclusion…its time.

Turn Back the Clock

In the fall; what hour of my life would you most like to relive as you turn the clock backward ?

It's almost time to turn back the clocks for daylight savings time. It makes me reflect on the idea of what hour of my life I would most like to relive if I could turn back time as easily as I turn back the clock.

There are several hours that come up in my memory as favorites. Times spent with friends and family...special moments of accomplishment...special moments in my walk with the Lord where I received particular blessings, or was able to help others to receive from the Lord...a moment of discovery when I came to realize I was important to someone...

But the most wonderful hour of my life was the hour I spent with your daddy the day he asked me to marry him. It was my birthday. I had come to his house to spend some time with him before we went out to eat with my family. He asked me to come into the living room and sit with him on the couch. I figured he was going to give me my birthday presents so I didn't think anything of it. He pulls out a letter I had written him a long time ago. In the letter, there was a sentence that said, "I hope someday I can be Mrs. ________. You can fill in the blank." He pulls out a pen and proceeds to fill in the blank. Before I could even realize what was happening, he was down on one knee, with a ring box in his hand, asking me to be Mrs. Bryan. I was so happy I cried. He did too! It really was a dream come true for me.

I pray right now that God will prepare the person that will become your future spouse -- that they will be the man or woman of God you need them to be, and that they would become that person of love, faith, and integrity that you deserve.

Frightening Old Ideas

John Cage once said, "I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." There are a lot of old ideas that frighten me in their tenacity to cling to life.

Racism frightens me. That people can be stereotyped by the amount of melanin in their skin, irregardless of their background, upbringing, education, or personality is simply scary. Don't ever allow yourself to slip into that kind of ignorance of thought.

Inflexible traditionalism frightens me. God is constantly doing a new thing...He is able to meet the needs and culture of every generation. I recently heard someone who I considered a strong Christian parent say of a Christian rap song we were playing at a youth event, "I don't hear any God in that, and I don't believe God is pleased with it." It shocked me. As long as the Gospel is not diluted or altered, it should not matter the means by which it is transmitted. Style of music, style of service, or who is the vessel delivering it are all irrelevant to God. Always be open to the moving of God's Spirit, no matter how old or how new the method He employs.

There's No Place Like Home

Living in Sanford after moving away for several years has been an eye-opening experience, particularly in the area of how much comfort I derive from being home. When I married your Daddy, I realized then (though perhaps not as fully as I understand now) that 'home' would be more a state of mind than a place. I really never expected to live in Sanford again once I was married and we had moved away. My hometown was a constant fixed point - someplace I could always return to, a place to spend holidays and visit family, but not someplace I would actually live.

I really balked when your Daddy said he wanted to take the position at the Sanford Church of God. There were too many memories of past hypocrisies and hurt feelings, unaltered by any knowledge of present realities. I also feared living so close to my family. I had come to enjoy a large measure of independence from them, and I didn't want to get trapped into the cycle of going to my Grandma's house everyday after work like all of my family does. It wasn't because I didn't love my Grandmother, but rather, because I loved my freedom, I didn't want to feel guilt for not being as intimately involved with everyone's' lives as everyone else seemed to be.

When we first came to Sanford and moved right there onto "Hall Hill," it seemed at first as if all my fears had come true. With time, I came to realize that my family did to some degree respect my wayward spirit, even if they didn't truly understand it. I even came to recognize that a few hours spend around the kitchen table chatting with my relatives wouldn't reduce me back to the status of a child again. I had made my way in the world, and they actually respected that.

Now as I drive around these familiar streets, and teach in the same high school where I graduated, there is a sense of satisfaction -- like sliding into a well-worn, comfortable pair of shoes. Running across people I went to high school with doesn't irritate me anymore...I actually look forward to seeing how much people have changed, and then reflecting on how much I have changed too. And the Sanford Church of God still has its share of hypocrisy...just like every church in the world does, but the new faces and friends I have met and made there make it more comfortable of a place than I once thought possible.

My little one, I don't know if you will ever have a "home town" that you will have these feelings for. Maybe for you home will always be a state of mind more than a geographic location. But as long as I am living, home for you can always be wherever I am.

The Still Point

T.S. Eliot speaks of "... the still point of the turning world..." As I considered what this means for my own life, I realized very quickly that the still point in my turning world is your daddy, my love, David Bryan.

There are so many inconsistencies in my life -- work can be a roller coaster, and I never know from one day to the next what my day will be like, how my students will behave, or if I'll even accomplish anything. Church is sometimes a refuge, and sometimes it is the source of all my stress. Friendships are sometimes uplifting and inspiring, and other times they leave me lonely. Even my relationship with God has ups and downs -- not because He is inconsistent, but because I am.

When I am with David everything feels safe. I know him, I know how he reacts, how he feels, what moves him, and he knows me...better than I know myself sometimes. Even if we are angry at each other over some triviality or another, I feel secure knowing he is there, and that this momentary quarrel cannot tear us apart. When I'm down, he cheers me up with his sweet gestures or silly ways. When I'm happy, he's happy with me. He wants to be with me...all the time! Even when my independent streak gets the better of me and I want to venture out and do things on my own, he still wants to be with me, even then. Even when I'm in pain and not the nicest person to be around, he still wants to be with me. I guess there's still enough of the shy, self-conscious little girl left in me to think that's an amazing concept.

I hope you grow up to be like your daddy and be the "still point" in someone else's life. I also hope you find that person for yourself.

Why I teach...

Let me tell you why I became a teacher.

Like all kids I toyed with all sorts of ideas of 'what I should be when I grow up'. You will too, I'm sure. I thought about being a veterinarian, because I've always loved animals. I thought about being a writer since I've always loved to read and to write. It wasn't until I got to junior high school that my career choice was really determined. It was in my 8th grade band class that I met a woman who would become one of the most influential in my life - Ms. Kathy Weir. She was our new band director, after Mr. Wilkins moved over to the high school. He too would become a mentor and role model for me, but it was Ms. Weir who showed me the power of being a teacher.

As a small young girl, playing the trombone was a bit more difficult than it was for others. I sat seventh chair in band and didn't really expect to get much better. But Ms. Weir immediately took an interest in me, and began challenging me to be better. She pushed me to play with confidence, and to expect great things of myself. She also showed me how to become a stronger, more confident young woman. I became more outgoing that school year. I began to make more friends, and develop the personality that would characterize who I am today.

Even at such a young age, I realized what an amazing transformation one person had in my life. I wanted to be that kind of catalyst in the life of someone else. And so I began a track to become a teacher. It wouldn't be the most profitable career, as my father continues to remind me, nor would it always be the easiest, but it has been the most rewarding, and every now and then I get the opportunity to be a life-changer for one of my students too.

So when you choose your career someday, do what will make a difference. Material wealth is temporary - being a life-changer is immortality.

Day of the Week

There is a very old poem that talks about a child's personality based on the day of the week they are born. It goes like this:


Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child that's born on the Sabbath day,
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.


I wonder what day you will be born on. I was a "Tuesday child." As a matter of fact today is my birthday! I wish I could have found out that I was pregnant today...that would have been an awesome birthday present. But I'm not. So we'll start trying for October. That actually would be best because then you would be born after school ends. I find myself getting more excited. I hope its soon.

Saying no...

I read an article in Newsweek today which was talking about how hard it is for my generation of parents to say "no" to our children. I realize to some degree I'm a product of a materialistic society that seldom says "no" to anything. It is difficult sometimes to find the balance between our 'have-everything' society and the important lessons of life that only waiting, saving, and working hard can teach us. I want you to grow up with a strong work ethic so you can be self-reliant and not make some of the mistakes of materialism that I have made. I want you to learn the values of industriousness, delayed gratification, honesty, and compassion.

What does that mean for you? Sometimes I will have to tell you "no." I will be you parent first, before I am your friend. I will make sure you are learning resourcefulness and responsibility before I make sure you are having fun. I want to help you wade through the waves of marketing that will be aimed directly at you by the media so you don't become some sort of 'wanting machine' - never satisfied with the things you are given, always wanting something more.

I don't want you to grow up with a distorted sense of entitlement because you have been given too much, too soon, with too little required to get it. Life is full of disappointments and I know you have to learn to adapt and deal with disappointment before you reach adulthood; it will be too late to learn it then. I realize a lot of my own self-centeredness and self-absorption is a direct product of this lack of exposure to disappointment. I know I will love you so much that I will have every good intention in wanting to give you the best of everything. It will hurt me anytime you feel lack. But the end result must be considered too.

So for all the times I say "no" and make you cry or pout....For all the times I become the "meanest mother in the world" and don't give you everything your friends have - forgive me and know I want you to become a better person than I am today.

What's in a name?

Naming you...that was the discussion this weekend. For some reason your Daddy and I talked about girl names the entire time, I guess because we both agree on 'Judah David' if you are a boy. That means "Praise for the Beloved" which is so fitting - I know I will have so much praise for my Beloved Savior when you are born.

As for girl names, we've toyed around quite a few possibilites.
Petra Elizabeth........Aurora Sky.......Emily Grace........Jennifer Elizabeth........
My favorite is Emily Grace, but your Daddy doesn't like that very much. His favorite is Jennifer Elizabeth, but I'm not fond of that one. We both like Petra and we both like Sky. I wonder if our indecision is a reflection of what gender you will be!

So what's in a name?

I know what its like to have everyone mispronounce your name constantly. It's more challenging than most people realize when your first name is Dacia but it is pronounced Day-sha. Especially during the school years; my teachers tried hard but never could get it quite right on the first day of school. And it seems the more unusual the name, the easier it is for school bullies to turn it into some form of teasing torture that leaves you in tears on the playground. So I am determined not to name you something that sounds nothing like it is spelled.

At the same time, I appreciate the pride that comes in having an unusal name. With maturity I have come to appreciate my unique name, accept the complements and surprise that accompany it graciously, and realize that it is an accurate representation of my own unique nature. I don't want you to blend into a sea of Amy's, Jennifer's, Joshua's, or Brandon's. You will be one of a kind, and I want your name to reflect that. No matter what we decide to name you, you can be assured it was a tough decision and one made with much prayer, love, and thoughtful consideration.